The List
I don't care if you're single, in a relationship, or already married...if you're breathing you've made "the list" of what you want in your partner.
Taken from my book "Not Another Dating Book" that releases Valentine's...
"When I was a kid I made a list of all the qualities I was looking for in a mate. I didn't get much farther than tall, dark hair, blue eyes. When I got older, I added other words to the list. Leader. Communicator. Compassionate. Encouraging. I kept building it out, describing my perfect man. Wants children. Virgin. Well-read. Likes to cook. Doesn't smoke. Doesn't swear. Comes from a Christian family. Good hygiene. Pays his bills on time. Has a heart for ministry. None of those qualities are bad, of course, but over time I started to understand that by holding every man to my impossibly high standard, I was putting God into a box..."
Yesterday, I got to officially name my Fan Page for "Not Another Dating Book" on Facebook and it hit me. When I was writing the portion in my book about "The Boyfriend" I remember the feeling that God was showing me if I don't obey and make a new list, He'll withdraw His Holy Spirit from me and I won't have anymore words on how to write my book. So I sat down on my floor with a bunch of post it notes and began writing furiously!
I'm so glad I listened because I met my boyfriend a few weeks later.
I've heard miracle stories before, but never me. I've been single pretty much my whole life.
That's why I wrote the book.
I've been single for so stinking long I wanted to write an accurate depiction of what real Christian 20-somethings go through. No more of this "kissing dating goodbye."
Heck, all of my friends--including myself kissed dating goodbye years ago and now what?
I wanted to share my list and be completely transparent. I only make one requirement: PLEASE DO NOT LAUGH! It's quite long, it has categories and some may sound utterly ridiculous to you. But this is me!
If you want to share yours or write one and email it to me please do!
Renee's List
Relationships/Friendships
- My best friend
- Tenderness
- Independent
- Non-emotional
- Not a drain/co-dependent
- Calming
- Non-smoker/Social Drinker
- Good with large groups of people
- Christian parents
- Likes to cuddle
- Communication
- Not easily pushed around, but can be playful with me
- Needs or appreciates alone time
- Wants a family someday
- Understands I process by isolating or hiding myself, and doesn't let me stay angry
Looks/Physical
- Photogenic
- Calf muscles
- Whether tall or shorter than me-> He. Must. Be. Strong.
- Clean shaven/short hair
- Dark brown hair/light eyes
- Healthy
- Physical touch is his love language
- Hugger
- Big arms
- Strong jaw bone (don't laugh)
- Nice hair
- Virgin
Church/Ministry
- Shepherding
- Ministry Partner
- Called
- Spiritual leader
- Holy Spirit led
- Daily Quiet time
- Community is important
- Loves God/others
- Suffered
- Conflict doesn't bother him
- Not intimidated by me (very important)
- Teacher
- Speaker
- Prays with me
- Anointed
Hobbies/Free Time
- Well read
- Enjoys social media/media/tv/internet/movies (doesn't have to like them all)
- Likes going fast in cars (hehe this is very important to me)
- Needs guy time
- Acts of service is a love language
- Takes time out to spend intimate time with me
- Doesn't have to do everything with or for me!
- Prayer warrior
Finances/Money
- Provider
- Pays bills on time
- Responsible with debt/money
- Saves for the future
- Values money
Work/Career
- Leadership
- Stable
- Has goals
- Hard worker
- Doesn't whine or complain
- Drive
- Does not need to be #1
- Values work hard/play hard